Thursday, January 8, 2009

Breaking up with Norm isn't all that hard to do

Norm Coleman handed local and liberal bloggers some great schedenfrude yesterday when he declared that a lawsuit contesting the recount results would be filed, naturally after the finished recount put Al Franken ahead by 225 votes. Which is precisely the opposite of what he indicated he'd do on November 5th when he claimed that if he were Franken, he'd just let it go. Guess it's easier to do the supposed right thing when it's at no cost to your own political career.

Seriously, did anyone really think that statement wasn’t going to come back to bite him in the ass in the near future? I knew the second those words left his mouth that we’d have a good old time making him eat them.

Not that I begrudge Normie for filing his suit. If there are issues that need to be brought up, he should do so. And it would be dishonest to claim that if the Frankin campaign was behind, they wouldn’t of had the same attempt to cherry pick ballots like the Coleman campaign is attempting to now.

But honestly, I just don’t think Normie can win this one without some major sleezy moves (or, sleezy moves from his supporters at the Moonie Times who have no problem just making shit up in order to paint Minnesota as the new Florida in order to discredit any outcome that doesn't end with Coleman as the winner). Luckily, Coleman has never been opposed to using the court to compensate for his own misfortune, no matter how stupid the charge. But this time there’s a lot of national attention, from political junkies and curious onlookers alike, and it’s not as easy to get away with such things, particularly with allegations of corruption lurking in the background.

I predict that he’s either going to drop the suit, or, if his RNC overlords won’t let him do so, end up looking pretty bad in the public eye for being the one that drew out the election. The odds are not in his favor. A lot of the challenges seem to be merely a re-hashing of issues that were already worked out during the general campaign. Prominent Minnesota politicians like Walter Mondale and Arnie Carlson have requested he step down. There is no mandatory requirements he can lean back on like Frankin was able to, so if the election is stalled, the public will look at Coleman as the cause. Minnesotans might not be too pleased that the new congressional session is starting minus one Minnesota senator. And even the wing-nut-o-sphere may already be gearing up to make Frankin the new leftist boogeyman that is magically persecuting with his lefty-leftness.

Add that to the fact that Minnesotans, a stubbornly prideful bunch, don’t really like it when their representatives shit all over their state. Which sadly for Norm, may be the only tactic the Coleman camp has left. Pre-emptive attacks on election officials earlier in the recount meant to build up a framework in which Coleman could declare himself victim of evil liberals that have time and time again been pronounced as bogus, even by Republican Governor Tim Pawlenty. And if Norm sells out his state to win one election, his political career in Minnesota is over.

And as the last nail in the coffin, “the Facebook” is on the case, and your ass is just screwed when a bunch of people that have nothing better to do then spend all day long on the internets poking friends, commenting on thong pictures, and posting flash animations decide to get together and mobilize. For reals.

But if all this isn't enough, we can address it on a personal level as well, from me to you, former Senator Coleman. Let’s just look at this realistically, shall we? Even if you were to manage to squeak out a few votes ahead by counting ballots that were already thrown out by a bi-partisan committee, the fact is that you couldn’t gain a significant lead in a race between you and an egotistical New Yorker responsible for “Stuart Saves His Family”. And when something like that happens, it’s time to fact the facts, and if I have to be the one to break it to you, so be it.

Minnesota… is just not that into you. Don’t be sad. It’s not you, it’s us.

Actually no, we’re just trying to be nice. It’s all you.

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